Redeeming Pain

I wanted to share a few pieces today from a blogger friend of mine, Katie. She is a wonderful mother of an adorable little boy, Isaiah, and a great example of faith. Katie and her husband Daniel have recently been through some crazy cool God stuff, and I know many of you can relate to her story. She is vulnerable and honest in her words, I hope you are encouraged and strengthened through them. Enjoy…

Monday, October 7th

It’s been a week since the M word. We are steadily getting back to normal. Last Sunday was awful. The worst. I would not wish losing a baby on anyone, even a person I thought shouldn’t be allowed to procreate, I still would not wish loss of life on them.

SO many women in my life have shared their own miscarriage stories with me. Seriously, SO. MANY. WOMEN. Too many women have endured this awful, heart rending pain. There is a sense of solidarity with those other mothers who know this pain. Women I would have described as strong, noble, faithful, passionate followers of Christ. Women who proclaim with their lives, and their families, and their lifestyles, and their language, and their humility, a deep-seeded love and trust for the One True God. Women whose lives have been rocked and scarred and yet still they proclaim that God is good; that He is faithful always. No matter how life on earth turns out, He is faithful. Always. He can be nothing BUT faithful.

I want to be a woman like these in my life. I want my children to “rise and call me blessed” (Prov. 31:28) because of the example I set. Because of the language I speak. Because I pointed to God. Because God’s faithfulness was always on my lips. I will take what the enemy intended for evil, what the enemy thought would tear me down or break my spirit or forever break my heart and I will say, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21

Thursday, December 26th

Friday the 13th was an exciting day because it was my first official OB-GYN appointment. Daniel and I had known for several weeks that I had gotten pregnant right after the miscarriage so it was exciting to know that today I’d get to hear baby’s heartbeat. I needed to hear that heartbeat to wash away the leftover shards of fear the miscarriage had left behind. From the start this pregnancy has been so different than my pregnancy with the baby I miscarried. I have had significantly stronger symptoms. No nausea or morning sickness (thank you Lord) but oh, the heartburn. This baby was making him/herself known from the start!

My awesome midwife-turned-doctor squirted the doppler goop on my belly and very quickly found that heartbeat. It was music to my ears. The tears started to fall and my doctor gently squeezed my hand. I told her I was crying happy tears but she said she knew they were happy tears born out of sadness. Then she started pressing on my belly. She pressed for a few minutes and said, “Remind me again, how far along are you?” I said, “Well, we don’t technically know. I think I’m 10 weeks. The miscarriage was a little over 11 weeks ago so I can’t be much farther along than 10 weeks.” She pressed a few more times then said, “I know everything is fine because the heartbeat was so strong, but let’s get you in for an ultrasound and see if we can get an accurate due date.”

Once we were back in the ultrasound room, the technician dimmed the lights, squirted more doppler goop on my belly and very quickly our little baby appeared on the screen. Except it looked like our little baby was encased in a bubble with another white blob looking thing directly underneath it. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was looking at. 

And then came the phrase we least expected to hear, “You’re having twins.”

She sent us on our way with a fistful of ultrasound pictures and our worlds are forever rocked and changed. Every once in awhile it’ll hit me and I’ll start to cry or worry or fear and I have to remind myself that God equips those who ask Him to. God gave us the privilege of parenting multiples, He’ll supply our needs when the time comes.

I love that. God brought them through the pain of loss, and is literally bringing double the joy. Thank you Katie for the reminder that He is faithful. Always. Even when the story doesn’t end like this one, He can still be nothing BUT faithful 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Redeeming Pain

  1. Thank you for sharing this story with us…I too miscarried in August of 2013 and was blessed to fall pregnant again soon after. I thought I would never get over the pain but we are now 5 weeks off meeting our baby boy and couldn’t be happier.

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