This site, along with Snazzy Artables will soon be Monday Morning Mom. The focus will be geared toward encouragement for moms. Follow me on facebook for daily posts>> Monday Morning Mom on Facebook
My husband and I wanted to have kids, but we waited for awhile since I was still in college when we got married. When we finally did start seriously thinking about it, it still seemed surreal to me. And one year, and several boxes of pregnancy tests later, we were pregnant with our son. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to remind me that he is our kid, and that I’m not just babysitting 24 hours a day. It still seems like a dream.
Motherhood has been a strange and wonderful journey for me. Honestly, it has been a struggle. I mean seriously, what mom can’t say that being a parent isn’t hard work? But for me, it has been difficult in other ways as well.
When my son was born we had one vehicle, lived a good distance away from family, had some very strained relationships in our lives, and lacked a church support system. Those first few months after his birth were spent in a lot of isolation – which is never good for anyone, but especially not a new mom. While I did not suffer post-partum depression, I did start to develop some fear and anxiety that I had not experienced before. We moved when he was two months old and got connected to people outside of our small circle and it helped some, but the anxiety was still increasing.
Even though we have been blessed with an amazing little boy who is always full of smiles and laughter, I wasn’t enjoying being a mom. I knew it wouldn’t all be a joyride, but I was struggling with my identity as a parent. I was feeling incredibly alone and lacking in purpose.
Every morning was yet another day full of struggles and irrational fears. It became like a job that I dreaded waking up to. Like everyday was Monday. I didn’t believe things could ever change. Eventually I was having full-blown anxiety attacks, one so bad it left me literally immobile. Something needed to change. Thankfully, that’s when God intervened.
The few months that followed have been a rollercoaster of emotions and eye-opening conversations and experiences. Surprisingly, he hasn’t been addressing just my struggle as a parent, but as His child. He has been reaching into my heart and working from the inside out. He’s breaking down walls I didn’t know that I had built up. He’s showing me more about myself and who I am, than I was ever willing to reveal before. He is changing this unsteady, fearful mom into a fearless one. I am only at the beginning of the amazing things He is doing, and I am so excited to see where He will lead me.
I know I’m not the only “Monday Morning Mom” out there. I know there are some of you who aren’t sure you can make it through one more day. I know that others are struggling with depression, anxiety, and fear. I know that I am not the only mom that woke up each morning hoping it would all go away – and it didn’t. My prayer is that you will know you are not alone even when it feels like you are. I pray you will be encouraged to continue moving forward, even when your feet stand still. God has got it. He’s always got it, and healing is on its way.
“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.” Psalm 40:1-3