Marriages are on my heart a lot.
I have experienced a rough marriage. We’ve had months of bitterness and resentment. We’ve had times of wondering the “what if’s” of marrying someone else.
I’ve also experienced a marriage filled with love and admiration. We’ve had some really good times. Our wedding day. Our first anniversary. The birth of our son.
But the best times are right now.
We’re celebrating four years of marriage today. While that is not a lot of time in comparison to some, it is still an accomplishment. As we spent last night celebrating, I quietly remembered those bad times too, but was filled with so much gratitude to God alone for pulling us through even when we had doubtful faith.
Each year that passes is yet another reminder that we are being strengthened and built, formed and reformed. And as each year passes and we tackle the hard stuff, we battle out the demons, and we stick it out because we made a promise, I find myself fighting harder not only for my marriage, but praying harder for the ones around me.
Marriage is not for wimps.
You have to keep pushing through and continue moving forward because the reward of a marriage that has lasted many trials is worth so much more than the one that failed because of one. Do not lose heart. Some things that have helped us in the past have been:
– Don’t try to change your husband or wife. Pray for your spouse and trust that God will work on their heart.
– Pray for you. Sometimes when we’re caught in a conflict, we fail to see our wrongs. Admit them without expecting your spouse to do the same.
– Practice love and respect toward your spouse, even when they do not show love or respect to you. (Keep in mind, this does not mean respecting every wrong, especially when abuse is present)
– Don’t argue. Yes sometimes we get angry and lose our temper, but we do have control over what comes out of our mouths and the tone in which we say it.